I turned 18 today…

Posted: January 6, 2013 in Imagine this, This is Us

“I turned 18 today. Last night, when I was sitting next to her, mom told me that my life is just starting. We had a few laughs. She held me and told me how much I mean to her.

My chest is bouncing up and down because I’m out of breath. I’m running through quiet streets. If I wasn’t running from, I would probably have wondered how many people are up at this early hour.

The sun already sat high in the sky when I walked into mom’s room this morning. Dad already left. She was applying makeup.

I always wondered why she does this as she is already so, so beautiful.

I stood in the doorway smiling… Admiring this beautiful woman God gave me to.

I look behind me… I don’t see anything.

As I turn my eyes back to the front I feel the pain in my chest again.

I look down. I’m clamping my hand onto my chest… But it doesn’t hide the blood from the eye.

I try holding back the tears.

I walked deeper into mom’s room. Our eyes met in the mirror. She smiled, turned.

‘Morning baby. Oh…’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Not my baby anymore. Happy birthday.’

My smile followed.

‘Thank you momma.’

I look behind me. Nothing. Eyes back to the front.

I shouldn’t have told her… Because in an instant… Her smile faded… And her entire face became a death sentence.

My eyes start glittering.

Her voice raised in the kitchen. And she was constantly shouting the word fairy.

Because she was pouring wine her back was turned towards me.

‘Mom… I’m still the same perso…’

I couldn’t finish… I couldn’t say another word. I sunk my eyes onto my chest after a pause.

Eye contact.


Without any emotion in her eyes mom pulled the knife from my chest and stabbed me a second time.

This time I shouted.

I look behind me because I hear screaming brakes. A car speeds around the turn, accelerates towards me.

When mom pulled the knife from my chest the second time I slowly stood back.

I felt the tear run down my face.

‘I hate you.’ she said.

The tone in her dead voice convinced me of this.

Holding onto my chest I slowly turned then rushed out of the door.

‘Where are you going?!’ I didn’t answer. ‘Come back here!’

I start crying louder as the car approaches me.

‘I’m sorry.’ My voice is soft. ‘I shouldn’t have told you.’

I wanna go insane as I hear the loud refs behind me and to ensure myself that I’m still safe I have to look back… Again.

The car is already too close.

I feel, almost hear the breaks in my body as mom’s car bashes into me… And I cover my head with my arms as I smash out her windshield.

After my loud screams it becomes quiet.

Mom reverses… And gets out after a few silent seconds. I’m looking up at the clouds but hearing her heels I’m sure that her walk towards me is a slow one.

Our eyes meet when she stands still beside me. She still has no emotion in her face that blurs because of the tears in my eyes.

‘I… Will rather tell the world I killed my son… Before I tell it… He’s a faggot.’

I wanna speak… But I can’t… So I’m hoping that the tears rolling down my cheeks say enough.

I never watched mom leave…

I turned 18 today. Last night, when I was sitting next to her, mom told me that my life has just started…”

[This post is fictitious.]


  1. Vicky says:

    I had no idea… I really appreciate you being so honest about how you feel, because I didn’t know.

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