Archive for October, 2012

In the month of breast cancer

Posted: October 30, 2012 in This is Us

As we come closer to the end of October I wonder what the month of breast cancer is actually all about.

Since I became aware that this month serves a positive attitude towards cancer I understood that campaigners take part in walks in honor of the fight against cancer. Glasses are raised for those who overcame the struggle. Funds are raised for improved research to bring a hopeful end to this big battle.

I was at a very young age when my grandmother passed away after falling into the diagnosis’s hands. I wasn’t all that part in the sadness those who walked at her side shared. I remember standing aside her coffin as it was lowered. My stepfather told me to drop the petals on the coffin and greet her one last time. I guess the only thing I was sure of was that I will never see her again in this lifetime.

Understanding, today, what cancer is all about I feel that some people really walk extra miles to turn this suffering into a precious and encouraging walk to cancer-freedom ensuring people that tomorrow can be faced and more importantly, conquered.

After attending some events against cancer I noticed that it isn’t the hope for complete cure that brings a smile to the faces of hostesses. It wasn’t a large amount of people who came together for a march that had everyone in ecstasy. It wasn’t the raised glasses… Or the raised voices yelling hopeful expressions… But with a comment such as “bring the money to us” I learned that it was rather the raised funds that have campaigners dance.

It really isn’t any of my business how the funds are handled. I just wish to express that it would be extremely morally wrong, depraved and corrupt to take someone’s money with the promise of a life changing trade and then actually run off with the sum to buy that new pair of shoes she’s been waiting for all this time.

It’s almost the same as those who stand at intersections asking for money because they claim they’re blind and later… When nobody’s looking they count the money with their own eyes.

This post really doesn’t serve as aggression to anyone who might make fools of people while hiding behind a campaign.

Today we have campaigns of all kinds. We have worldwide aids day. We have the fights against hunger and poverty. We have those who devote to the freedom of abused and misused women and children. We have the walks against elderly disabilities. Heck in my country we have had so many protests over the last periods of time I don’t even know what they all stand for anymore.

I just wish I could understand why I am not aware of any campaigns against the physical and emotional abuse on a gay man, a gay woman or a gay teenager. Why don’t I know of any devoted fighter who wants to bring an end to all the murders on a homosexual being? Keep in mind that the reason for the murder was his or her sexuality. If someone was to reason that he doesn’t like a person with a physical disease he can just shoot the person to death, it would be wrong.

But let’s not care about the gay who was run over by a car because the driver saw him kissing another man. Let’s not worry about the gay whose intellect was scraped off of the lounge’s walls because a father cold bloodily ripped out the pistol. Let’s not be concerned about the gay who was stabbed so brutally we don’t even know where to start looking for all of his insides on this dark road. It must be here somewhere though. Let’s not even bother cutting the rope that hangs teenager from the roof. He made the easier choice. He had it coming anyway as he was about to admit his homosexuality to his father. Let’s just not give a damn at all. Animals of strange species should be kept in laboratories where we can perform research on the strange behavioral mindsets and sexual preferences. No need to worry about fundraising for these… We can just wait until one day we might have pennies lying around that we can waste.

Does anyone understand my reason?

Women, in some cases even men, who face breast cancer can put on a television and see an ad that tells them where they can look for help.

A person who supports a parent with Alzheimer can drive to work and hear an ad on the radio that will guide their way to a support group.

People with drunken habits, misuse of drugs and smokers who desire to quit can attend AA meetings.

People can attend a fancy dress ball where the speaker will have so much advice on HIV Aids, and how to live the disease, or someone who has been diagnosed with the disease that afterwards the guests would know so much it would be as if they attended medical school.

But what about the man who doesn’t wish to face another day because it’s been a while without the father that disinherited him?

What about the woman who can’t stop crying anymore because her mother refuses to talk to her?

What about the teenager who wakes up, lies on his bed the whole day staring at the ceiling? Wondering… How he will admit his homosexuality to his parents… But in the end… Enters the bathroom and takes out the razor.

What about the teenager who refuses to go to school because he’s tired of coming home with bruises?

Where do all of these go? Where will they read about support? Where will they bump into some add on a lamppost? What television channel will assure them of a better tomorrow? Of a positive attitude towards homosexuality? Of a fight against physical and emotional abuse? Of glasses that are raised for those who overcame the struggle of being trapped in a closet? Funds that are raised to build homes for those who are no longer welcome in their own? That people walk extra miles to turn this suffering into a precious and encouraging walk to homo-freedom ensuring people that tomorrow can be faced and more importantly, conquered?

My thought for today: “People that consider homosexuality a disease should be willing to campaign for a better tomorrow for those who were diagnosed with it!”

Harlan Z. Maroni

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Gay man’s paradise

Posted: October 30, 2012 in This is Us

What is it about a gay image consultant that just sweeps a woman off of her feet?

So I’m sitting here in gay man’s paradise on October 29, 2012. It’s a top to toe fashion show in a lodge with endless Niles of waters beautiful evening lights that guide your way to your seat. I am surrounded by such an amount of flowers and so I am sure that it’s not perfume I smell. This is nature in one of its most beautiful forms.

From outside I see hair that touches the roof of the rooms entered. Make up is done so extremely well if it were to appear on a screen it would tell a story the best animated artist never could.

Music makes me wish that it was Friday all over again. There are dancing DJ’s holding headphones to the ear with one hand while expressing the rhythms in their dancing moves… Smiling. There are live bands and lights by the many colors.

Picture the guests in formal dress. See the waiters serving them with those shiny round platters. Hear the sparkling wine that almost fill the glasses and for those single ones… Topless models covered in colorful body paint.

This happens an almost endless amount of times round about Pride month all over in South-Africa… And this time of year makes me remember just how exquisitely unique the gay man is.

While staring at the candlelight outside and listening to the jazz band I remember the number of occasions I would hear a woman say: “A gay man’s creativity is all the more originally acclaimed, recognized and respected.

By professional experience I should add from my side that I have learned to value the arts of a woman as there is the sum who expresses themselves very delicately and elegantly.

Still I enjoy this compliment towards the gay man whenever mentioned because it reminds me that behind all the sarcastic rude behavior towards the homosexual we are here with great creative purpose and without us the world would stand completely still.

This is the reason why you would often hear a gay man talk to himself because all of us know that sometimes all of us need counsel from a skilled, professional connoisseur.

Being an consultant in beauty myself I enjoy listening to the women that remind my mother how lucky they consider her to have a homosexual son who can make her more beautiful whenever mother and son feel like playing.

I would always consider my mother my most important, most considerate, most generous and most significantly also my most beautiful client. She has a son who can tell her how beautiful she is and also an older son who can show her how beautiful she is.

My reason for this post is this: A gay man might wake up to a day he isn’t looking forward to. He might get into a car he doesn’t really feel like driving. If unhappy in his career he might head off to a profession he doesn’t feel practicing. On his way to work he might think of an argument with his parent about his sexuality he doesn’t really wish to remember. He might come home to an empty apartment without the friends who chose not to support and respect his choice to love the same sex.

YET…

Whenever the sun sets and evening lights come out… Whenever the day makes way for the night. Whenever the doors of work close so that the doors of entertainment can open… Whenever the desk makes way for a mixer… Whenever a reception stands aside for a dance floor… Whenever the office allows the ramp to step up… He knows that he created this evening everyone else marries tonight!

My thought for today: “If the gay weren’t there to walk the day… The straight wouldn’t have been all that able to paint the night.”

Harlan Z. Maroni.

He’s beautiful… He’s still young… He has such a becoming personality… He’s always very generous with his compliments. I’m always so proud to introduce him as the most important man in my life…

He’s on the sofa… Next to me… He’s asleep… So peaceful.

I hear his still, undisturbed breathing. I see his chest lightly bounce back after each breath it lies down.

His black hair glimmers in the light… His earring shimmers in the glow… It always looks so breathtaking when his hair waves down into his face…

His one leg is folded over the other as if lying on calm ocean waters… His hand is underneath his chin… And because he always knows what to say… Tomorrow… He will most probably tell me that he’s dreaming about me right now.

I would carry him to the bed… But he will wake anyway. And I know that when later… I say goodnight… It’s been a good day… All because he walked it at my side.

Behind every writer… Should be an extremely good reader. One to smile… And say “You’ve outdone yourself again love.”

I might not always have had the time of my life… But I have the lover of a lifetime. Because there is only one of him… There can’t be a better!

I consider words my biggest talent from Christ Jesus… Yet even words will never be able to explain just how much he means to me… And just how much more I devote to him with unconditional love.

You’re the other half of my world Juana… And for that reason I can call it whole.

I love you more than all the words I’ve expressed on paper.. Multiplied with all the words I’ve expressed on paper… Times all the words I’ve expressed on paper.

Perhaps you can’t remember…

Posted: October 28, 2012 in Imagine this

He sat there in the rocking chair… Reading a book he couldn’t wait to find when the envelope slipped through the mail slot. At first he only stared, then got up and headed to the door slowly.

The envelope announced a letter from his mother. His mouth fell open in a smile wondering, just hoping that this time it might be good news.

Rushing back to the chair he opened the letter and started reading as he sat down.

“Child…

Perhaps you can’t remember that you were raised in a religious home but your father and I would always see you off to church on Sundays.

Perhaps you can’t remember that you learned about Jesus and all of his great miracles but you would run home to tell us about these.

Perhaps you can’t remember the things Jesus taught during his time here on earth but you would always know when it’s right to do something… And when it’s wrong.

Perhaps you can’t remember the laws of God… But you always respected his commandments.

Perhaps you can’t remember the times you prayed… But you always understood that the prayer of a righteous carries great strength.

Perhaps today you can’t remember that God made Adam for Eve… And not a man for Steve… Or even that God destroyed Sodom because man loved man…

Apart from the Bible…

Perhaps you can’t remember that I taught you that your lifestyle is wrong but you always knew you live by an unnatural law.

Perhaps you can’t remember I told you I can’t respect your choice to love someone of the same sex but you always knew I never accepted it.

Perhaps you can’t remember the pain you caused me when you told me you’re gay… But I can never forget.

Perhaps you don’t remember that I asked you not to contact me again… But I’m sure I made it very clear I never wanna hear from you as long as I live.

Please respect this.

Signed… The woman that used to be your mother.”

She made herself comfortable on a sofa in front of the window before the nurse walked into the room. She handed an envelope to her with a smile, announced that it had just arrived.

She opened the letter and wondered if the marks on the paper were made by tears. As if she could hear the calm voice speak the words on the paper, she read:

“Mom.

Perhaps you can’t remember that I was never raised in a religious home but was rather brought up by a woman who thought she was Mary and a man who considered himself God.

Perhaps you can’t remember everything I learned about Jesus but when I ran home to share it with you I found you passed out on the carpet.

Perhaps you can’t remember reading about the things Jesus taught during his time here on earth but I know that during this time… He was always among the sinners where He spoke of his Father’s undying love for me.

Perhaps you can’t remember any of God’s commandments but I know that Jesus’ most important rule is that we should love one another as He loves us.

Perhaps you can’t remember I thanked Jesus for giving me you during the times I prayed but I know that I always respected you no matter what.

Perhaps you can’t remember why God gave Adam Eve but I know why Jesus became Man.

Perhaps you can’t remember that Sodom wasn’t destroyed only because of same sex lust but I know that I am one of the sinners Christ gave his Life for.

Perhaps you can’t remember that no human will ever be perfect… And that you weren’t hammered to a wooden cross… But Jesus.

Apart from the Bible…

Perhaps you can’t remember why in the end no one threw a stone at the whore but I always knew that I can’t point out your mistakes… Your shortcomings… Your drunken habits… You misuse of drugs… Your gambling weakness…   Your inappropriate dress code… Your hate speech towards your neighbor… Your disrespect towards my grandmother… Your unfaithfulness towards my father…

Perhaps you can’t remember that I never asked you to respect my choice… That… In fact… I never asked you for anything other than love…

Perhaps you can’t remember the pain you caused me when you told me you can’t love an animal… But I would never stop adoring you.

Perhaps you can’t remember the times I found you asleep with a burning cigarette in your hand… But you never woke with a burn wound.

Perhaps you can’t remember the times you fell asleep outside on the porch because you couldn’t even make it inside the house… But you would never spend a night outside.

Perhaps you can’t remember the times you were ill… But you would always be taken care of… And looked after.

Perhaps you can’t remember the times you couldn’t face another day… But I was always there to stand tall on your behalf.

Perhaps today… You can’t remember that I respected when you said not to contact you again… But each time you’re the one to write.

Perhaps today… You can’t remember I respected when you made it very clear you never wanna hear from me again… But I haven’t called you in more than half of my life… Or written to you for the same amount of time.

Perhaps today… Because you have Alzheimer… You can’t remember that this is the twenty ninth time you’re sending me this letter… But I still can’t hate you.

Perhaps today… Because you have Alzheimer… You can’t remember I told you it hurts not to see you… But I still can’t stop loving you. Perhaps you can’t remember that this was the last thing I said to you in person… But please don’t let your hate towards me… Stop you from entering God’s paradise…

Perhaps today… Because you have Alzheimer… You can’t remember me say that no sin is bigger than another in the eyes of God… But please forgive me before you pass on this side… So that God can forgive you before you arrive at the other.

Perhaps you can’t remember one day you actually loved me… But I know Christ Jesus loves me… And that God loves me… So much… He created me… Despite the mistakes He knew I would have before He thereafter bought me with the Blood of the Same Son… That cares for you… As much as He cares for me.

Signed… The man that will never be your son.”

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Homosexuality & Rapists

Posted: October 28, 2012 in This is Us

Over the years I was brought to a proper understanding of the many things homosexuality has been compared with. In this time I realized that some people really hate us with every hair on their heads. God Alone will know how much that is.

One day mom told me she read: “I wish gay people can be punished the same way rapists are punished.”

This was a comment made by a woman after her son admitted his homosexuality towards her.

Now I knew we were despised. I just didn’t know we were despised as much as rapists are.

Some people would call a sexual offender a person with the needs of an animal. It really is a sickening offence.

I’m sure we don’t even need to refer to the dictionary to have a proper understanding on the word rapist.

Rapist: A sexual offender who commits in a sexual act with another against the second party’s own free will.

Homosexual: A lover of the same sex.

I can’t seem to understand just how these two can be considered one or the same offence. A rapist really should be retained in a place of safety to prevent the offense towards women, in some cases even men, who can’t defend themselves at that particular moment.

A lover of the same sex is usually kept behind the desk of a fashion design firm or a hair, health and beauty studio where, all, these people do is really show the world what fashion trends should look like.

In no case whatsoever is anyone forced to visit these premises against free will.

When usually these people lock up the doors to their offices, away from the commercial scene all they usually do is visit gay night clubs or even day clubs, spas, each other [Note that this usually happens BY INVITATION], or just the local park.

I’m sure if we see same sex lovers holding hands, while laughing, this must be done with a proper understanding on the freedom of choice as we don’t hear anyone crying for help or shouting rape.

To understand an offensive mindset as well as a homosexual mindset, we should understand the psychiatry and psychology of life.

In many cases we hear a gay person say that he or she believes they were born homosexual. In some cases we believe that some people express a homosexual affair because of being hurt in a heterosexual affair. Some men believe that they were born with more feminine hormones than masculine hormones whereas some women believe they were born with more masculine hormones.

Whatever the case, in a conversation with a psychiatrist [This is the medical practitioner who usually studies 7 years or more to understand how the brain works] I learned that brain development determines an adult mindset.

There are two specific things that determine brain development. They are: Parental influence and Societal influence for instance a teacher and what she teacher her class.

The first few years of a brain is mostly developed by parental influence. If you support a football team chances are your parents supported that same team during the years you didn’t even understand what the game is about.

I really wish I could meet this woman to have a heart to heart talk with her.

Because I don’t know who she is I will take this chance to share with her what I have on my heart and hope that she might just read it even if by accident.

Lady: Please understand that my argument is non-aggressive because I really feel sorry for women who weren’t loved by their mothers as much as my mom loves me. What’s more is that they choose to marry a husband with the same kind of personality. Loneliness must really suck. You can’t hate your son for something I’m sure you taught him to be. You can’t raise your son as if he’s your daughter and when he wishes to love a man at an adult age, despise him for that. Remember that time you dressed him up in dresses and high heels? That was the day you also covered his face in makeup? You took some pictures because you thought it was all cute. I’m sure it was when he was about four years old… Yes. That day. That day made your son wonder whether he is a man… Or a woman. If you consider your child an offender on level of sexual offense then it means that somewhere, sometime, probably most of the time you screwed up in raising him… A lot! If he hates himself because of his sexual preference then I hope you feel better about yourself real soon because he probably got his low self-esteem from you as well. Your statement makes me wonder just why a homosexual person should be punished the same way a rapist should. Why did you specify rapist?

There is however an offence that will be punished the same way rapists are… It’s called a judgmental mind. And it will be sent to the SAME hell!

I’m just happy our laws aren’t governed by a person who makes such a statement. For all we know a person might have gotten life just for making his dogs pair.

Harlan Z. Maroni.

Homo public indecency

Posted: October 28, 2012 in This is Us

Not too recently I came to understand that fair homosexual rights are not lawfully respected in other countries as in South-Africa.

In South-Africa we have the old conservative folk that aren’t that much in agreement with a homosexual choice, yet as far as Constitutional Justice goes same sex marriages have been legally recognized by our constitution years ago. Also couples of same sex can adopt children through private or state welfare concerns. The constitution assures a homosexual citizen of South-Africa of fair rights in the legal eye.

Despite these laws the old conservative folk stick to its mindset of an anti-gay globe. Well… Each to his own I guess.

I was stunned to learn that in some countries gay men are hung by the neck from overhead-cranes… Almost… As if such a man doesn’t even earn a fair execution. They won’t even kill a gay man the same way they kill a straight man. As I understand, this happens without fair trial with death sentence. This execution is just performed… By public… We might as well refer to it as a legal murder.

In another country anyone caught making a remark on a woman who breastfeeds in public can be sued yet you can say to a gay person whatever you want… Call him or her whatever you like… At whatever age you might be. They can’t do a legal thing about it.

That’s fair?

Two men can’t hold hands in a park because it’s full of children but some woman can take out her breast and show it to the park full of children while having pick-nick. An exposed breast in a classroom is natural… It’s educational but two men holding hands in the mall is public indecency.

I can really understand why exposed female upper bodies will never be illegal because what man wouldn’t wanna se fifty different pairs on the same day? This just makes me wonder whether this breast-feeding law was legally recognized because of those innocent babies and their feeding needs with their feeding times… Or simply because the seats are parliament are filled with men… We’re now thinking of those hairy, bearded, greasy men with ill manners that are barely touched by their own wives because they have the needs of a pig.

I can really imagine the lot sitting there discussing why they should approve of public nudity… And as they laugh themselves to pieces the slime is running from their mouths… Because of the lustful conversations… And then they really wanna make it sound like they actually care for a baby and his or her feeding time.

I really don’t have a bitter mindset towards this. I simply wonder why these people would use the Bible and Its judgments on homosexuality as their reason while the Same Bible also says: One is NOT allowed to see the nudity of another unless married to him or her!

Breastfeeding mothers please understand that I am aware of a baby’s needs and also that breastfeeding is the most excellent supply of infant nutrition. Therefore I myself have no discriminating response to public breast feeding. I simply wish to know why in some countries one has constitutional rights up until he or she admits his or her homosexuality.

My thought for today: A sodomite isn’t just a homosexual being. It is also one filled with lust, wickedness, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, lying, bitterness, gossip. A sodomite is a doer of evil, hates of God. It’s someone that’s insolent, proud braggarts. It’s also someone that denies God, someone who doesn’t respect their parents. It’s an unfaithful person. One without natural love. It’s not just someone who practices these, but also anyone that approves of these. [Romans 1]

Harlan Z. Maroni.

A gay teen’s freedom

Posted: October 25, 2012 in Imagine this

“It’s winter… But it really isn’t as cold as the forecast said it would be. Maybe it’s just because I overdressed before I left home this morning.

It’s still early… I bet school hasn’t even started for my class yet. I’m sure they won’t even realize my absence today… And IF I have to be back tomorrow… They won’t even ask me where I’ve been.

My eyes are lowered… I’m wondering how much manpower it took to position the railway… From up here… On the bridge where I’m sitting… It looks small, the railway… But I can just imagine the weight…

I know the trains pass underneath me at a high speed… But every time I feel the ground shaking when one passes… I remind myself that it must be faster than I can imagine.

I’m gonna miss my history test today… I’m not even sure if dad will be angry… Cause even though I am intelligent… He doesn’t notice my intellect… Or any of me for that matter.

The ground’s starting to shake again… I hear a train approaching. I should hold on… Or I might just fall to my death from up here.

It passes.

Silence.

I hear a few birds and I wonder why all species don’t migrate for the winter.

I’ll probably sit here until I have to go home… I need to tell mom and dad… I’ve been keeping this secret for such a long… Long time… But I know what they’ll say… I know how they’ll react… Dad will tell me he didn’t raise no fairy… Mom will probably cry… And tell me to leave…

I’ll have nowhere to go… Because by the time I knock on the first door… Mom would already have called to tell that I admitted my homosexuality.

I look up. Everything it so beautiful from up here. Everything looks so peaceful… And now… It sounds so quiet.

They’ll hate me…

I feel the ground shaking… I don’t see the train approaching yet… But I can hear it.

They’ll really hate me…

If I think of being trapped in the closet another day… My eyes glitter… If I think of coming out… My cheeks are wet… Cause if I think of what they’ll do… I fall apart…

I can see the train now.

I’m standing up because it’s time to leave… I should get off of this bridge now.

So I jump… I freefall to the ground… And as I turn my face sideways… I see the train approaching me…

I hear the breaks… I close my eyes before the train smashes into me…

I don’t know what will happen after I’m gone… But because someone will tell them I’m dead… I won’t have to tell them I’m gay…”

[This post is fictitious.]

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